roselastrider:

>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl

>she then tells me to talk dirty

>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt

>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth

>copulate and educate

I once put a tube of toothpaste in the freezer because I thought I could make homemade gum but all I got was really cold toothpaste

glowcloud:

im gonna fart so loud and when i leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people

I really like blogging at this time of night, u guys are my favorite time

date me
Anonymous

Marry, divorce, then remarry after a series of hilarious hijinks and a moment of self realization at the climax of the movie followed by a great expression of love me

bari-nosis:

fartgallery:

i want to eat a really big circle

Dont do that. There are much better diets to stay in shape

i dont want to be in shape, i want the shape in me

pimple comin out to celebrate 420 with the world. welcome to the party lil guy

pimple comin out to celebrate 420 with the world. welcome to the party lil guy