You're a fucking artist man

shh babe i know it

i drew the characters of shrek from memory

You have to kiss me. Sorry it's law

heres what i think of societys lawes *throws flaming guitar through a shop window* ANARCHY!!!!


it’s all fun and games until someone gets trapped in a tupperware container


no son, theres no monster under your bed. there is, however, one under mine so ill be taking your bed tonight. good luck out there, kiddo

Attention park goers: please stop feeding the ducks enriched bread, they are becoming too powerful & are picking fights with the dogs in the park

i moved out 4 years ago and the novelty of living on my own is still goin strong, like ill be chillin on the couch in my underwear eating cheese balls and be like “hell yea this is sweet i dont miss high school or home at all”

Simba, you have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. You also forgot to take out the garbage and now the fucking birds got into it